Family photos

The very talented Brent Haywood took our family photos again this year at Mission Trails. As we were driving there, it alternated between sunny and rainy....ended up being perfect weather. With so much going on, we didn't shop for the girls' outfits until the night before. I let them "pick" with some gentle persuasion. It's so great to see how much they grow each year and how their little personalities come out in the photos. Was a very easy shoot. When it comes down to it - doesn't matter the location or the outfits, just thrilled that we are smiling together and creating special moments. Let the holiday season begin!!

where to begin?

So overwhelmed, since before the holiday season. I've felt out of sorts and disconnected. I've been wanting to blog, for my own self-preservation, but where to begin? What's important? What's not? Would rather escape then face the mountain of things I want to do today, this week, this month, this year, this lifetime....ARGH!!!!

then I just decided....

...one day at a time. just do it. the more I delay documenting my life, the more likely I am to forget details that make my life what it is...rich, meaningful, memorable, mundane, worthy, what i want my kids to remember.

GO:

--Chargers: broken-hearted still. I really thought this was the year. Don't want to face the fact that this might be LT's last year.

--Conan: What?!!!! Barely had a chance to watch even a few episodes. Love Jay too, but...

--92078 to 92129: changed zip codes this month. Loving the commute, not loving being in complete disarray and feeling as though I'd rather sleep than deal with the storage space overflowing with things that could be donated, sold or thrown away. (one box at a time)

--sweet Sofia: so very anxious about upcoming meeting with teacher, speech therapist, school psychologist, resource specialist

--sweet Ava: a champ at the dentist. two cavities to fill. got her first haircut :)

--soon-to-be an aunt: so happy to spend more time with my five month pregnant sister and her husband

--loving parents: so grateful to my wonderful parents who do so much for us already; they keep adding things to the list of reasons to be so humbled by their generosity

--my loving husband who just turned 36 yesterday: never asks for a thing, just keeps giving, and loving. how did I get so lucky? (I take it back: all he wants is to eventually get a dog)

--brave mother in law: undergoing chemo with a smile on her face. she truly epitomizes the word selfless. to be more like her....

--boycotting American Idol: still love Paula Abdul (I'll probably cave once Ellen comes on)

--things are different: but instead of being sad about it, I have to look on the bright side and remember that there are great things to come.

--decisions, decisions: making a mental pros/cons list for switching to iPhone: newest pro > being able to use it as my iPod at the gym instead of carrying two devices.

--Everyone a Reader: meet the newest volunteer at Sundance Elementary. 45 minutes a week, the very least I can do

--nearing a year since Choice Center: have I lived up to everything that I've learned since then?

--nearing a year since my knee surgery, am I ready to run a marathon? (not literally, just figuratively speaking)

--ME! it's okay to take care of me! In fact, my family needs me to.

AHHHHHHHHHH....that felt really good. Some of the tidbits that I didn't want to forget to remember :)

Okay, I'm back....

For Today: October 17th (Saturday...yeah!!!)

Outside my window...It's dark...just the sounds of a few cars driving by.

I am thinking...how happy I am.

I am thankful for...health, my kids, my parents, my husband, youth.

From the kitchen...Pick Up Stix take-out. Just finished my 2nd class of cab.

I am wearing...jeans, brown t-shirt, slippers (weekend uniform)

I am creating...my Yesterday & Today album inspired by Ali Edwards.

I am going...to chill. Weekends are for relaxing.

I am reading..."Reading Magic" recommended by Rachelle

I am hoping...that my knee heals sooner than later.

I am hearing...the sounds of the girls watching "Wizards of Waverly Place"

Around the house...crap everywhere, need more boxes to store things.

One of my favorite things...weekend with no commitments...just being.

A few plans for the rest of the week...two parties tomorrow, Chargers' defeat of Denver, dermaologist appointment Tuesday. Nothing else!

A picture to share...

As I was typing this blog post, Ava came in to show me a drawing of our family (from l-r: Sofia, Daddy, Momma and Ava)

Happy Mother's Day

happiest days of my life: august 19, 2003

june 7, 2006

Mom...thank you for being you...I love you.....

Feeling good..

 

Four days later, definitely adjusting to my current situation.  The surgery went very well.  Last memory I had was my mom sitting with me in the holding room and knowing many of the nurses from when she was an operating room nurse.  It was comforting to know that I was in good hands.  And as I walked into the operating room, five people were in there with their hair and faces covered, so all I could see were their eyes and they were applauding and woo-hoo'ing...I started laughing; eased the tension for sure.  All I remember was a little poke in my arm and one of the nurses asking how it happened.  I think the only words I got out were..."Well, funny story actually...." and then I woke up to someone asking "You ready to see your folks?"...I couldn't believe how quickly it went by.  Tiredness, frustration, pain....sums up what I've been feeling.  Had my first physical therapy session and I am already walking on one crutch only, so feeling hopeful that recovery and normalcy will occur faster than I thought.  Just taking time to relax a bit.  I've watched every single American Idol episode that I've had taped on our DVR, some songs I've watched several times (i.e. Allison's "Can't make you love me", Adam's "If I can't have you", Kris' "Ain't no Sunshine").  The down time has been nice, but I really want to be back in the real world.

"Close my eyes.....and LEAP"

So many wonderful things have happened to me since my last thoughtful blog post back in December.  

For my Christmas present, Jay took me to watch Wicked in Los Angeles.  Along with Jeff & Jenny, we thoroughly enjoyed it.  Probably because I had just finished reading the book, I really felt a connection with the main character.  And with the power of its music and costumes and the characters, I was completely transported.  I loved every second of it and have been listening to the soundtrack every day since I've seen it.  

The holidays were simply wonderful because I was with the people I love.  

And 2009 has already proven to be a life-changing year for me in so many ways.  For one thing, we have downsized to a smaller house in San Elijo Hills thus alleviating me from the unnecessary burden and stress of carrying such a large mortgage.  I am loving this new lifestyle because I feel so free.  Free to pursue the things that really matter.  It was a tough thing to go through but in the end I realized that I don't need a lot of "stufff" to be happy; in fact, many of the things I got rid of aren't even missed.  And it is so true....family and true love are what make a house a home.  Once I finally embraced these things, my outlook on life is much more clear.  

They say things happen exactly how they should, and I truly believe that!  My very good friend and former colleague Jenna approached me last summer about a program that she went through called Choice Center.  She couldn't tell me much about it, just that it totally changed her life.  From what she told me, I called it an "emotional MLM."  Even though I totally saw changes in her, I resisted those changes for myself because I truly felt that my life was just fine and that I didn't need to do something like that.  After eight months and hundreds of excuses, I finally decided to go to the seminar and experience it myself.  (If I'm being honest, I actually did it to "get it over with" since I had felt so obligated to go).  But now that I'm back, I have to say...it was the most life-changing thing I have ever done.  I've said this to a few people already, but I would want everyone that I love and care for to experience the same feeling I am feeling right now.  In a nutshell, Choice Center simply is a mirror that you hold up to yourself that makes you see how you "show up" in life.  I have learned so much about myself, and all in good ways, and have taken back the responsibility of everything I have, everything I do, everything I feel, everything that I am and want to be....all to myself!  I would be so happy to share what I've learned to anyone who asks because like I mentioned previously, I'd want everyone I care about to have this same amazing experience.  The first part of the program is called "Discovery" and I am going back to Las Vegas in a few days for the second part called "Breakthrough".  I cannot wait to see what is possible for me!  

Thanks to Ali Edwards, I have been inspired to choose one little word for 2009. The idea behind the one little word concept is to give yourself something to focus on throughout the year.

I chose the word CONNECT because for awhile now, I have felt so disjointed and disconnected with myself and others. This is my year to simplify my life and connect or re-connect with myself and others and form a stronger bond to those that are important to me; stop putting up so many barriers and guards around myself and just let people into my life, for there's a reason they have come to me.

Connect
 /kəˈnɛkt/ [kuh-nekt]
verb
-to establish communication between
-to cause to be associated, as in a personal or business relationship
-to associate mentally or emotionally
-to become connected; join or unite
-to have or establish successful communication; make contact
-to relate to or be in harmony with another person, one's work, etc.

Note from the Universe

Jenna turned me on to www.tut.com where you can subscribe to receive a daily email from "the Universe"....just daily feel goods....here's today's:

What can you now do,
that you'd like to do,
that you aren't doing?

Do it, Jocelyn.

Love,
The Universe

Queens and the City!

...San Diego, that is!

What a fun night...Cheryl put together a wonderful get together with all of us girls that all had the Miss Philippines pageant as a common thread.

It was a Sex and the City themed dinner at the Yardhouse in downtown.

After the (loud) greetings of one another, we started in on updating each other on what's been going on lately, since several of us hadn't seen each other in many, many years.

Jeannie has 3 kids and is a happy stay-at-home mom, her family's photo was a huge marketing piece for their church; Ahn sent her oldest daughter Alahnna off to college at UCSB and will be married to Navid in the new year; Christine moved back here from Hawaii after 3 years and has a daughter named Amelie and is in nursing school; Marie just had another boy, Joshua, four months ago..bringing her total to 3 kids; Cheryl just expanded her esthetician business to a great location in Banker's Hill called Magnolia.

After playing catch up, our drinks arrived with an extra Kamakazi shot for everyone. The first game of the evening was we all purchased a thong that reflected our personality and we put it into a gift bag. We each had to pick one out and guess who brought it. If we guessed wrong, we had to take the shot....NO ONE guessed correctly, so we all had a shot to start off the evening! It was a blast! The second game was a quiz...Cheryl put together a Sex and the City quiz. 18 questions later, Jeannie was the only one to get all of the answers correct (I missed 3). So Cheryl bought the SATC DVD as a prize. Seeing as Jeannie obviously was a SATC addict, she so kindly gave up the DVD to Marie, who got the most wrong (14 out of 18)...so sweet of her!

And finally, we all brought a pre-owned accessory and did a "white elephant" exchange with them...that was a great idea. I came home with a darling wooden bracelet and earring set!!! (Wore it the next day).All in all, a wonderful night....Almost all of us have kids, so I know, especially for me, it was tough being away from the kids, but we all survived and managed to have a fabulous time. Some guy came up to our table and said..."I have to ask...what is the occasion?" We all screamed out "Just because!"

Thanks Cheryl for bringing us all together, it was a blast!!!!

(Cheryl-1997, Marie - 1995, Jocelyn - 1996)

The Boys are Back!

All the t.v. I ever get to myself is a measley half an hour on Sundays...Entourage! I wasn't too thrilled with the first episode, but the new one was awesome! They're back! One of the best parts of every episode is the closing song...this week's was no different....I didn't blink during the credits in case I missed the song title...but it never showed...so off to the Internet I went. It's called "If I ever feel better" by Phoenix. Apparently the song is old, but I had never heard it and I actually got up and started dancing! LOVE THIS SHOW!

New 'Do

Will never be able to get it to look like this myself!  Thanks Johnny at Ryan Thomas Hair Studio in Encinitas. 

NO DAY BUT TODAY...

(my favorite song from RENT)

I received one of my birthday gifts a day early. As I was leaving the office, my boss said to take the day off. It was like I was given the gift of time! The girls were in Spring Valley, so instantly I thought of all of the things on my to-do list that I could accomplish. Woke up at 8:19am* to the sound of my cell phone ringing. It was Gina calling to wish me a happy birthday; I missed the call. So as I was getting ready to call her back, I noticed 7 text messages from friends wishing me a happy day. That made me smile. Talked to Gina while still in my pajamas and told her that I felt like doing nothing. She said, “Do nothing!” I threw away my to-do list for today.

So…what am I doing now? I’m sitting at Starbucks sipping coffee, reflecting and waiting for my massage appointment (Thank you Joy & Noah). I could sit here all day, but I’m so excited to see my girls and Jay later on this afternoon.

On the heels of finishing “The Last Lecture,” I highlighted a few sentences in the book that I wanted to comment on, and today is the perfect day to do it. (Everyone should read this book, I don’t think I’ll be giving away too much…but if you want to wait before you read the rest of my entry: Stop here.)

Take a time out. That is what I am doing today. We all need some time, even if only a few hours, to be alone and do what we need to do to recharge our batteries (even if it is just drinking a second cup of coffee).

“Dutch Uncle”. Defined as a person that gives you honest feedback. It is so important to have these in your life. I have several and I am so thankful for it. We all need them, and we should all BE them to others. Gaspar is my greatest Dutch Uncle, which is why I talk to him almost every day.

Brick Walls. Brick walls are there for a reason. They show how badly we want something. It's about finding a way to get over it. My biggest brick wall has been my career. I have yet to find my passion. I know it’s possible to make money doing something I love, my quest is to find it….and soon!

You’ve got to have Goals. Someone once told me that if you write something down it is 50% more likely to happen. I have tried to make it a habit to write down more of my goals, daily ones such as to-do lists as well as more lofty ones like what I want to accomplish in my life…. “You can always change your plan, but only if you have one”.

Are you spending your time on the right things? This is something that I struggle with. I always claim to be so busy, but really…busy doing what? I really like shopping, but I've decided that I am not very good at it and that I need to stop wasting my time and instead do things that are more important. I know there are other time wasters that need to be eliminated in my life.

Dream big. Why not?! Yes, one day I want to be on a Broadway stage.

Don’t complain, just work harder. This is a great mantra, not just in the work place, but in life too.

Don’t obsess over what people think. I used to be reluctant to tell people I did pageants because I was afraid of what people would think. Why?! It was one of the best times in my life. I love the stage, and what easier way to be on one…just being me.

Be the first penguin…failure is not just acceptable, it’s often essential. I used to be so afraid to fail at anything I do. This fear has limited me in so many ways. But it’s never too late. I need to change my attitude and go for it, even if I fail.

Get People’s Attention. I have a framed print in my closet that says “Good clothes open all doors.” To me, it doesn’t mean spending a ton of money on clothes, but about being aware of how you present yourself every day…usually a huge smile will suffice (while wearing clothes of course).

Tell the Truth. Enough said.

Happiest Place on Earth. I have been a Disney fanatic for as long as I can remember. It is the most magical place in the world. And that is why as an adult, I made the decision to have my kids experience it as much as possible. I want them to have the memory of us having lots of fun there as a family, even though I know the real Happiest Place on Earth is with each other.

Jai. Inside joke between Jenna and me. My Jay is the strength in my life. For 15 years, I have been in love and every day, I love him more and more. He makes me laugh, he is a wonderful father and husband and I can’t believe how lucky I am to have found him so early in my life.

Know how much your parents love you. If I can achieve nothing else in this life, I just want Sofia and Ava to know how much I love them. I vow to tell them every day, several times a day if I can. God has blessed me in so many ways, but these little angels that He sent to me just give a whole new meaning to life. I am so lucky.

(Seriously...pick up this book, it's a very quick read, and it will make you think about your own life.)

*8:19am…..for some reason I seem to always look at a clock when it’s 8:19 am/pm…funnily, Sofia’s birthday.


Nota bene:
The rest of my birthday was smashing! Had never been to Massage Envy, the therapist I had was a Filipino guy who said that he has been massaging ever since he was 11 years old when his Lolo taught him how. Afterwards, had a great lunch with my parents to thank them in person. Later, Jay and I went to the Prado for drinks and afterwards, picked up a little ice cream cake to eat with the girls. Good times!



Happy Birthday to me! All of my wishes have already come true (except the Broadway thing...)

I am 35

Dear Mom and Pa,

On this day, I can think of no one else that I am more grateful to than you two.  I don’t do this often enough, and I should….Thank you!  Thank you for giving me life.  From Philadelphia, to Chicago, to Long Beach, and to San Diego, you both have given Jennifer and me such a wonderful home.  I don’t say this often enough, but I love you.  I know you read my blog, so I wanted the world (all four of the people that read this) and you to know that I am the person I am today because of you!

Mom - I admire how you were the only one of your 7 siblings to work extra hard to finance yourself to nursing school and to make the decision to leave your family in the Philippines to try to make a better life for yourself here in the states.  Subsequently, you helped your family back home and sponsored half of your family to move out here.

Never have I actually put myself in your shoes to determine what that must have felt like.  It is a tremendous sacrifice, and just one small example of the wonderful things you do  all the time.  Ever the entertainer, I have never had a party at my home that you haven’t gone above and beyond to assist me with.  Whether it’s making a surprise dish (or three) or cleaning up afterwards, you do so much for me and I truly appreciate it.

Pa - You are the most patient and loving person I have ever known.  You would do anything for your family.  You support our dreams and never ask for anything in return.  I don’t know how many times I was upset or down, and all it took was a loving word from you to assure me that things were going to be okay.  You and Jay are true saints for putting up with the crazy women in your lives.  So thank you…They say that you tend to look for a mate that reminds you of your father….You and Jay are both strong, thoughtful, proud and loving.  And I am so lucky to have you both.

Again, Mom and Pa, thank you for creating me…literally and figuratively….I love you more than you’ll ever know.

Love,

Jocelyn

 

 My 35^th birthday lunch at Elephant Bar with my parents…chose this restaurant because my mom collects elephants because she says they’re good luck.

Birthday Blog

TUESDAY, AUGUST 26, 2008

Happy Birthday, Joce!!
Today is my friend Jocelyn Soriano Lomahan's birthday! I am sending her all my positive vibes and love on her birthday because she's one of those people you just feel blessed to know. Though it's been ages since I've seen her, I know she is someone I can always keep in touch with. Years ago when I was involved in the unpredictable world of pageants and just blossoming as a woman in the world, Joce was always there to hold my hand and give me a leg up. I can't tell you how much her kindness and generosity has always meant to me back then and even now. She's just a positive person and if you're lucky enough to know her I'm sure you'd agree ;) Happy Birthday Joce and I wish you all the happiness in the world today and always. Thank you for being there for me way back when I didn't know what I was doing and even now I feel I can still look up to you even after all the pageant adventures, thank you!! :)

....and they're off!

I've lived in San Diego all of my life and have never, ever been to the races at Del Mar! (I'm not much of a gambler.) But today, we finally did it...and did it big! For my birthday, Vivian and her sig-o Michael took Jay and me as their guests to the Turf Club. It was great. Jay was concerned because there is a dress code (no jeans, men must be in jackets). He was afraid he'd be dripping in sweat. But it was the most beautiful day, ocean breezes all over us, and we were at a table "on the rail". It was perfect. We got to see everyone, but more importantly as Vivian reminded me, we got to be seen! (ha ha ha) She's been into thoroughbred horses all her life. A Turf Club Member since the '80s, so EVERYONE knew her... Jay was concerned that no one gave him any kind of ticket for valeting our car, all we had to say was "We are with Vivian" and we were taken care of.... It was a riot!

So in addition to eating, drinking, and being merry...we also were there to win lots of money!!! Michael started schooling us on how to bet...He lost me at the word Trifecta....so he and Jay continued their lesson while Viv and I just started people watching and making fun of the vividly colored jackets that some of the men were wearing :)

My quest to live with my eyes open forced me to just take in the moment and enjoy every little detail. The first race of the day's winner was named "Searchforthetruth"..loved that! Also, I was reminded, once again, how beautiful our city is while enjoying my panoramic view.

Once Jay got the hang of the lingo, he went and placed bets on the 4th & 5th races. Both horses he chose, Wings of an Angel & Kris Silver both came in second...Not quite enough money to retire, but it sure was fun! It was a great afternoon.... We were even able to go down to the paddock to see the horses up close and personal before they went out to race.

Thanks Viv for the wonderful birthday present...an opportunity to do something new and exciting that I've never done before!

Me llamo Jocelyn

Jay and I are still so impressed with his Canada cousins and their ability to speak French that we are now determined to learn Spanish. So if anyone sees us paying extra close attention to Dora the Explorer cartoons with our daughters...you'll know why. We actually invested in the Rosetta Stone for Spanish. So we're going to work on it together...For anyone that knows Spanish..please help us in our endeavor! Gracias!

American Express Questionairre

Childhood ambition: Actress
Fondest Memory: Marrying my Husband
Soundtrack: Drops of Jupiter
Retreat: Sleeping in on Sundays with my family
Wildest Dream: Win the lottery to pay off bills
Proudest Moment: 1st runner up Miss California USA
Biggest Challenge: Baby weight
Alarm Clock: 6:00 am
Perfect Day: Disneyland with the family
First Job: Sea World
Indulgence: Eating Sushi
Last Purchase: A scrapbook magazine
Favorite Movie: Love Actually
Inspiration: My family

Working mom vs. Stay at home mom

Why does this question seem to cross my mind at least 5 times a day? It's probably because there is tremendous pressure out there to be a perfect mom: whether that means providing financially for your family or being the perfect homemaker or a hybrid of the two. I am 33 years old with two beautiful little girls, Sofia age 3 and Ava who is 4 months old. I love them and my husband Jay so much, they are my world. There are days that I wish I didn't have to get up and go to work 5 days a week, but there are also days that I can't wait to get out of the house by myself. I'm sure I'm not the only mom to feel this way. What's the answer? There probably won't be one, at least not one perfect one for everyone. The key for myself is to strike the right balance between the two. I know I'm not wired to be a stay-at-home mom full time because I've worked ever since I was 16 years old and my own mother worked full time rearing two children with my dad. But there are those days when I wish I could be home to have dinner ready for the family when they arrive, to jog with the babies in a jogging stroller and end up at Starbucks with the other hottie stay-at-home moms. Hopefully this introspection will help me achieve my goal.